“Every day in every way I’m getting better and better”. This is a quote from an episode of Frank Spencer. For those of you that don’t know who Frank was, he was a character in a sitcom in the 70’s where every day his inability to do things well would result in a (usually) hilarious scenario of mayhem. His character was one that has always stuck in my mind when something would go wrong in my life and I would try to see the funny side (the rainbow) in the situation.
“I left with the lunch”
For many others it is a lot more difficult to find the rainbow. Recently I attempted to give a homeless person some lunch (I refuse to give them money as I will not support their “habits”) and he refused my offer because he was “not hungry” as he proceeded to drink his RUM out of a water bottle. I offered to leave the food there but he was more offended by this and became agitated. I left with the lunch. Don’t get me wrong. I donate clothing and money to worthy charities however my experience left me wondering what was the reason that created his situation.
Was it of HIS doing? Did life deal him some tough cards? Was he simply someone that went off the rails and never got back? I’ll never know. What I do know is that based on my own personal experience and the experience of my friends and family, we all face our own battles during our lifetime. How we respond to these battles can make or break us.
It’s what we say “yes” to that defines us. Often if help is offered we are too proud to say “yes” and yet “yes” may have in fact resulted in the solution we so desperately were seeking. We have been raised to stand on our own two feet and yet falling over can often result in us finding what we are seeking. Before you stand up, stay seated for a while and collect your thoughts. The solution may be right in front of you.
“At the time I was “judged” and to this day I am still paying for some of the judgements that were placed on me.”
The photo that accompanies this piece is a picture of the injections that my wife had to receive (administered by me) for 30 straight days after what was her second full hip reconstruction – prior to this she had both legs broken and a full hip reconstruction on the other side over a 7 year period. The battle we faced was that she had not been able to work for 3 years due to the surgeries and relevant aftermath which put physical and financial pressure on us. Our battle was to be able to stay calm and work through each issue as it came to hand. It was tough. There were also external issues with others that put further pressure on me and all of these challenges had to be faced, and dealt with, at the same time. We did not share this with people and no one knows what we truly went through. At the time I was “judged” and to this day I am still paying for some of the judgements that were placed on me. Some of the battles we are still fighting.
BUT, I am aware of so many of my friends that have fought, and continue to fight their own battles.
“I have friends that have taken their own lives”
I have friends that are cancer survivors while others are continuing to fight. I have a cousin who is not even 5 years old that is battling cancer and every photo I see of him makes me smile because he has the greatest smile I have seen. I have another cousin who sadly lost his son to cancer. I have friends that have taken their own lives (I hate to say it but I am in double figures on this one) because the battle got so tough that they felt they could never win.
I have friends in custody battles, financial battles, marital battles and “Head space” battles.
What I do know is that the battles I have fought (some I continue to fight) have allowed me to become stronger. They have taught me lessons – some really hard lessons – about life and myself. I am NOT perfect and over time I realised that if I had spent half as much time just being ME and not trying to impress others, I would be twice the man I am today.
I can tell you right now that there are people in YOUR lives that appear outwardly happy, confident and successful and yet behind the scenes they are battling or have battled to be this strong, successful and confident person.
“I refuse to tell others how to live their life “
I refuse to tell others how to live their life however I will always make damn sure that if I get asked for help, advice or assistance, I will do whatever I am personally capable of doing that will improve that person’s situation.
Remember that we are all fighting our personal battles but we can also help others (and ourselves) by sharing the struggle and perhaps getting a different perspective on the situation. What we can not see for ourselves, others may be able to shine a light on. Being alive is a tough gig but looking for the rainbow or asking someone to hold an umbrella for you during the thunderstorm is a great start to finding the solution.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, it is often the strongest thing you can do.
What can you, or have you done for others during their “battle”?
